what a day

Okay so I've been lazy today. I did some laundry not all of it. I barely even played with my son and was happy when his nanna took him for the evening. I did get to go to the gym but that was only after I finished 3/4 of a meatlovers pizza. I've just been in a fog all day. Even at the gym I barely broke a sweat. 

I think I just have a whole uncertainty of life right now. Nothing is set in stone and even after I man up and make it seem like something is going to happen and I  do everything I can to keep it going something happens and all of the sudden nothing is certain again. I can't let it effect me to much or I'll truly never get anywhere. It just all seemed to crash in on me today. I can't believe I'm 28 years old and can't pass a frickin prep math class. I know a little about a lot of things but not a lot about any one thing. That can be good to a point but it's really pissed me off lately. I have to figure out a way to provide for my family get back out on our own. I don't know how to do it yet other than  hard work but ya know what. My priorities have been re aligned in the last year and I pretty much refuse to work insane hours like most jobs want you to these days. I have a family I don't want to be at work more than I see them that's stupidity. That's why I left the car business. That's why I left everywhere. Not enough money for the amount of hours. What CAREER can I excel in that will gross around from 100k to 125k/yr. that has no weekend hours and gets me home by 6 at the latest. I'll wake up and go in at any god forsaken hour in the morning. but I want to either never leave home or....be home by 6. 

I don't know for the mean time I'll just pray a lot and explore every option that comes my way.

who knows

Today I spent most of my day on the USF campus. Where do these "kids" get their sense of style? From goth to preppy to who gives a shit to oo ooo look at me look at me. It's crazy how people ruin themselves. But here's my conundrum, I love the fact that our country provides us with such freedom! But I hate when people take advantage of those freedoms and make themselves look act and sound ridiculous. Maybe I'm the one who is ridiculous. 

From my point of view the nation is going to hell in a hand basket and our "future" generation can't really get their heads out of their I PODS!!! 

Lets think out of the box for a second..... or something that's just as crazy lets look at the constitution. The second amendment to be exact. It's my school of thought to believe that if there was a responsible sole in that science lecture at NIU maybe quite possibly they would've had a concealed weapons permit. Looked up when they heard the first gunshot or maybe even as soon as they saw a weapon, took cover and shot back at the shooter. The thing that really gets me is there was a law abiding citizen with a concealed weapon permit in that room but unfortunately he was law abiding and school campus' are "no gun zones" where no one even with a permit, is allowed to carry a weapon.  Some people say that they should beef up security and put more police officers on campus. You and I both know that won't do it. So where do you go from there....let's just put national guard units at each campus and turn every school into a state of military. NO NO NO NO NO NO that's the wrong way. Let me and people like me carry a weapon. According to the law. There's a daycare on campus at USF where children of students and faculty can attend and my "wife" attends classes there. It's also getting to be pretty popular to shoot up classrooms. Geee. I just feel reaaalllyyy safe now. 

Does anyone who voted really know what McCain - Feingold is? Or McCain- Leiberman? I'm just saying. I would like to have safer borders and safer campus'. WTF!!!

I urge everyone of us who has half a head on our shoulders to take a concealed weapons class and take control of our own lives. WITHIN THE LIMITS OF THE LAW!!!! 

If every other person in the nation had a weapon on them rapes and murders and muggings would drop drastically. If I had more resources and time I would do a study as to the correlation in crime vs. weapon carrying publics.

Meanwhile I have to come back to reality and put my son to sleep.

Just the beginning

I feel the sudden urge to try to get some of my pent up ideas and frustrations out. Who knows how this will end up. Will I catch anyones attention? When I look back will it just look like I'm regurgitating someone else's opinion? Am I contradicting in my views and opinions?  Is there validity in some of my frustrations? 

Even if no one else in the world ever finds this I'm going to use it as a journal of sorts. As a tool to look back and sort out this stuff in my head. I will never apologize for contradicting myself. I will simply explain now that any contradictions you (I, we) find are simply reinforcements that I am in the process of shaping and molding my school of thought.

Remember this is an attempt at finding my true core values and separating out the sociatal bullshit that has been indoctrinated since birth. Furthermore, if for some reason any reads this and becomes interested I will take any and all criticisms at face value and I encourage anyone and everyone to be brutally honest.